Healthy Versus Unhealthy Relationships

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Healthy Versus Unhealthy Relationships

 

IS THIS LOVE?

Like the songs say, love really can lift you up. Being in a loving, healthy relationship is fantastic. It can include affection, passion, caring, valuing, trust, acceptance, giving, joy, and vulnerability. Unfortunately, some relationships are not consistently very caring.

You may know someone whose relationships are obsessive, excessive, destructive, dangerous, compulsive, habitual, unhealthily attached, or dependent. If you are wondering about yours or someone else's relationships, take a look at these examples:

Unhealthy Love

Healthy Love

  • Feeling consumed in the relationship

  • Often answering for the partner in conversations

  • Sado-masochism (Either or both.)

  • Extremely afraid to let go

  • Excessive fear of risk, change, or the unknown

  • Little individual growth

  • Very few truly intimate experiences

  • Playing mind games

  • Trying to get something by giving

  • Trying to change other people

  • Needing others to feel secure or happy

  • Seeking THE magical solution

  • Refusing to ever commit

  • Looking to others for a sense of self-worth

  • Being afraid when routinely separated

  • Repeatedly experiencing negative feelings

  • Being afraid of affection and closeness

  • Cares with excessive detachment

  • Frequent playing of "Power Games"

  • Allows for Individuality

  • Has an oneness & separateness from a partner

  • Brings out partners' best qualities

  • Accepts endings

  • Experiences openness to change/exploration

  • Invites growth in the partner

  • Experiences true intimacy through acceptance

  • Can honestly ask for what is wanted

  • Finds pleasure in giving and receiving

  • Does not try to change/control partner

  • Encourages self-sufficiency in partner

  • Accepts limitations of self & partner

  • Does not seek unconditional love

  • Has individual high self-esteem

  • Trusts the memory of the partner

  • Expresses feelings spontaneously

  • Welcomes affection and closeness

  • Taking care of other's feelings when asked

  • Believes in equality and personal power in self & partner

Source: Unknown


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Paul Jacobsen is a graphic artist and writer in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

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