Don’t allow yourself to become a
puppet of other people’s thoughts, experiences, or attitudes. Your
relationship is too valuable to allow other people’s ‘mental garbage’ to
affect it in any way. Your partner is too valuable, for his or her own
individual merits, to allow comparisons to the influence of advertising,
movies, or someone else’s life.
When in groups -- the guys or the
gals -- there is an awful tendency to refer to partners in less than
flattering terms. "The old man" ... "The old lady" ... to mention a couple
of the more benign ones. If you allow yourself to participate in this weird
mind-set, you are again sowing seeds of eventual discontentment because you
are creating and fostering an attitude toward that person.
Given time you
will begin to look upon that person in just that way. Always speak of your
partner in respectful and complimentary terms. This may make you something
of an oddball at gatherings, but that is of less importance than risking the
development of a negative attitude toward the person you love.
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If you
genuinely love someone, you will always speak of them in a positive light.
I’m always in mind of my old friend Chuck, who would always introduce or
speak of his wife as "My lovely wife Linda..."... and they had been married
for a number of years! Good on ya, Chuck! |
Even though they’d been married
for years, and been through some ups & downs, he not only felt that way, but
openly expressed it always. For that, Chuck was always looked upon with a
special kind of respect. If you value your partner, you should always keep
that value front, center, and above all else.
Before concluding this journal,
let us recount the highlights of this section.
-
Have ownership over your own
thoughts.
-
Endeavour to understand your
world.
-
Internal knowledge is better
than external advice.
-
Don’t under-rate your own
intelligence.
-
Question input from external
sources.
-
Focus on the value of what
you have.
-
Avoid `pity parties’.
-
What you focus on becomes
your reality.
-
Speak well of those you love
-- at all times.
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A good rule of thumb is to mix equal parts of self respect, respect
for your partner, fairness, and common sense.
Don’t set impossible standards for the person you’re involved with. In
the last portion of this booklet, we’re going to briefly address some
critical issues which cause discontentment to occur. |
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Staying Lonely
