However, all human beings will
make a mistake at times. A mistake is not an intentional wrong. The
difference between intentional and unintentional actions must always be
recognized. All anyone can do is apologize for a mistake, and make every
effort to not make the same one again. If an event which hurt was something
intentional, then "AH HA" is warranted, and after a few of those it would
certainly be wise to give the whole relationship serious reconsideration. A
mistake, however, is a signal to communicate -- not persecute and should not
evoke unwarranted suspicion.
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By talking about it you have an
opportunity to understand each other better, and grow from the experience.
To do otherwise is to begin the process of building a needless wall between
you -- one you may not be able to completely tear down later. In addition,
there’s a strong possibility you will needlessly reinforce old insecurities;
making things even more difficult in the future for both yourself, and the
person you’re involved with. Keep the word "intent" in mind.
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You can use it as a reliable
way of ascertaining how to react to any given event in the future. Give your
partner the same latitude to be an imperfect human being as you would expect
for yourself. Remember; BALANCE can only be achieved through equal give and
take.
Partners must learn to
understand one another. It’s crucial to a happy and peaceful relationship.
Most handicaps people have dealing with one another are the result or
extension of fears -- fears of being hurt, used, taken advantage of, or
abused in some way. Those fears were born in past events (experiences) which
have modified the manner in which we instinctively react to situations and
other people.
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Every person is the sum total of their experiences; many of which were
beyond their ability or capability to control. It’s really not too
difficult to see why those fears, and the instinct to protect oneself,
would be at the root of most disharmony between people. I repeat this
because it’s so important. |
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If you’re aware of, and
understand, the fears your partner may have, you will have taken a major
step toward a better relationship overall -- a relationship with far better
prospects for long term success and happiness. If you can understand WHY a
person acts a certain way, it’s always much easier to determine the issue of
intent; thereby reducing your "AH HA" tendency where it’s not warranted.
You will learn to control your
own fears and not be so subject to them, and they will fade, being replaced
by newer, more pleasant memories over time.
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Understanding Each Other
