It’s at least a beginning,
and as you go along, you’ll soon develop a feeling for how receptive and open
your new partner is. Remember ‘balance’; if you find yourself doing all the
giving with no sign of any willingness to reciprocate, then it may very well
be time to think about just where things are realistically going between the
two of you.
|
If you find yourself in this
position, there are two directions you could pursue. If you’re the assertive
type, you might ask your new friend why he or she doesn’t feel comfortable
opening up with you. The question itself may be just what it takes to get
the ball rolling.
If, however, the response is
something along the lines that there is nothing they are unsure of
themselves about, or that worries them, it’s likely a good bet they’re not
truly ready for a two way relationship with anyone, let alone you. The other
option is to simply withdraw somewhat. This is not meant to suggest playing
a `head game’ of any sort -- the object is not to manipulate; it is,
however, to open doors to more healthy and free flowing communication.
|
|
A person who’s sensitive to
you, and aware of you, will pick up on the change and probably ask what’s
wrong. Someone who genuinely cares about you is going to have natural and
spontaneous curiosity about changes in your mood or frame of mind. Then you
can express your feelings about doing all the giving, and that with no
reciprocation you were feeling rather exposed, and left out of their life.
Again, with the door now open, progress should follow.
|
|
If it doesn’t, you would be wise to reconsider spending any more time
with him or her. It would certainly be safe to assume that this
individual has little or no intention to try. These are the things to
watch for -- basic guidelines which cannot take into account every
individual circumstance which could be involved. You must be the final
judge. |
There may be those of you who
would say; "Well, I already knew all this stuff." My question to you, then,
would be; "So why aren’t you using it?", and if you were to then answer me
that you are, I would ask you; "How much, and how consistently are you
applying it?" "Are you REALLY using it, or just skirting the edges?" There’s
nothing very complex in what I’m saying, but that, of itself, may be why
it’s so often over looked or ignored -- it’s simple, in a world where
complexity is assumed to be the order of the day.
The world is a complex and
stressful place; so why not simplify it where possible, and avoid the
unnecessary stresses we’re able to?
Next Page >>
Relationship Basics Review
